Please remove your mind from the gutter, dear reader. Not those juicy personal bits! I'm refering to the slightly too intimate details that it has become fashionable for successful substackers to share when they can't be arsed to write a real essay. Notice how these tidbits are perfectly calibrated to make you feel all warm and cuddly and like you're almost family then — bam! — they hit you up for a subscription upgrade.
Lol, this is hilarious. You’re killing me! (In a good way.) BTW, I want to gift you a paid subscription to Brunette Gardens, but I’m not sure which email address you use to subscribe. If you’re interested, email me at email@example.com.
I've learned a lot. I had no idea that Turtle Paradise was such a corporate entity, with "personnel, staff, and a brand identity. I did not know that Bartles and Jaymes were "Frank" and "Ed." I have just learned the word, "parasocial," and I'm feeling a little bad about that concept. All of these revelations have shone a not very flattering light on TP, and now I'm worried about Lynn who is writing, not because she wants to, but because she labors under "contractual obligations!" That said, I am looking forward to learning about "swales" (also a new word for me) in fairy gardens! I am very interested in gnomes and fairies and this is the main reason I continue to subscribe. Today I only find bent and gnarled tree trunks and, squint as I might, I'm unable to see the nasty bits. The author worries that her lone Chinese reader will consider her a "cultural-appropriating nut Job." Of course we all know that, in actuality, she's a permacultural-apppropriating nut job.