Whittle a Whammydittle

Here at Turtle Paradise we acknowledge that the 70's was the best decade ever. However, a lot of great stuff came out of the 80's too, for example, the 1981 Mother Earth News Household Hints Almanac. It contains 176 pages absolutely packed with home remedies, cheap fix tips, and doing-more-with-less ideas. It includes 6 pages of handy reference charts, a 1982 calendar you can rip out, and is so stuffed with information it has an index. And no ads. Those cats knew how to make a magazine.

They were obsessed with what in 2019 is known as repurposing. Your small child can't reach the handle on a screen door? Replace the handle with a towel rack that extends down into child territory. A car hood from the junkyard (or that trunk on blocks in the front yard) transforms into a stone boat when inverted and equipped with a chain. Load it up with firewood, rocks, pumpkins, whatever, and pull it where you need to go. Use half an eggshell with a hole pricked in it for a very small funnel. Shotgun shells made great tiny boxes. Who knew?

A portion of the issue addresses re-skilling. Milking a cow, tying knots, and grinding an axe are covered, as is identifying wild edibles. Some readers may be interested in learning how to use a straight razor, just don't touch that moustache!

Kids aren't left out. Plenty space is devoted to homemade toys like tin can walkers, kites, and old fashioned tops. You can slake your burning desire to whittle a whammydiddle. This is a toy children love to make because it involves knives and sharp sticks.

While some of the magazine's content seems humorous nearly 40 years after publication, there's a ton of great information here, some of which I will shortly put to use. I probably won't be spackling with toothpaste, but I will be safer when I set up my extension ladder. Old books, magazines, and people (boomers!) can be treasure troves of valuable knowledge, that shouldn't be ignored in the internet age.

If you were looking for an excuse to poke around in used bookstores and junk shops, now you have it. You're welcome.